He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
