am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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