yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
