I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
