the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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