I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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