Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
