I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Hippo gnu deer
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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