he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
