so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
