Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
