Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This toilet bowl is my home.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
