are you so shy because you have an std?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
