oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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