I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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