I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I believe in your delicious
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
