Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
