We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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