found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
