So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
