so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
