i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
