Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's a naked man in my car right now.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
