Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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