She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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