Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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