You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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