Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You may now shotgun with the bride
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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