dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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