apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
