whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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