All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
