Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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