sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
