Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
