I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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