hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
