i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
