Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
