and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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