I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
