I love black thongs
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
