The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
