We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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