I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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