I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
