The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm at about main and main street
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
