I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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