brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
