idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
