Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
