do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
