Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
