You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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