I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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