Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize