David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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